A webcomic of romance,
sarcasm, math, and language.XKCD HomeAbout XKCDThis site created by fordredAlso checkoutlolcat.tumblr.comThis Is Taken
‘Sailor Moon’s head exploded once’ and ‘Some men have explosive orgasms’ both work for the Great Lakes from west to east (Paddle-to-the-Sea order).
We could go to the theater across town and see if it’s opened THERE yet, but we don’t want to lose our place in line.
‘Welcome to the future! Nothing’s changed.’ was the slogan of my astonishingly short-lived tech startup.
An ‘American tradition’ is anything that happened to a baby boomer twice.
The bunch of disadvantaged kids I was tutoring became too good at writing, and their essays were forcing me to confront painful existential questions, so I started trying to turn them on to drugs and crime instead.
Grayton also proposed making college scholarships available exclusively to sexually active teens, amnesty for illegal immigrants who create room for themselves by killing a citizen, and a graduated income tax based on penis size. He has been endorsed by Tracy Morgan, John Wilkes Booth’s ghost, and the Time Cube guy.
The SLS head engineer plans to invite Shania Twain to stand under the completed prototype, then tell her, ‘I don’t expect you to date me just because I’m a rocket scientist, but you’ve gotta admit—this is pretty fucking impressive.’
Proof of Zermelo’s well-ordering theorem given the Axiom of Choice: 1: Take S to be any set. 2: When I reach step three, if S hasn’t managed to find a well-ordering relation for itself, I’ll feed it into this wood chipper. 3: Hey, look, S is well-ordered.
There, I showed you it.
I was going to record an album with that cover under the name “PINK FTFY”, so it’d come after them on the store CD rack. But at this point music stores are just rooms where CDs are set out to age before they’re thrown away, so probably nobody would see it.
Thomas Jefferson thought that every law and every constitution should be torn down and rewritten from scratch every nineteen years—which means X is overdue.
And no avian society ever develops space travel because it’s impossible to focus on calculus when you could be outside flying.
There’s always the hope that if you sit and watch for long enough, the beachball will vanish and the thing it interrupted will return.
Once you see it, you can’t help seeing it every time. Until your body finishes metabolizing the mushrooms.
For a thousand generations we vowed never to forget how his soldiers feasted on our brother Stephen.